“Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 

Love never fails.” 1 Cor 13:4-8a

It’s as if someone asked me to do a book review on the books that’ve deeply impacted my life in the last few years.  Except noone has.  So read if you’re interested.  Imagine my sweet Caleb napping and my sweet Caden looking for something to do that doesn’t require yelling if you’re not interested.

Okay.  Last year I wrote a post with some quotes and my long-time friend recommended a book to me in the comments.  When I visited her in our hometown, she loaned this book to me.  (I still have it.  She truly should’ve known better.  That is a joke.  She loves me anyway.)

First, he defines prodigal: recklessly extravagant; having spent everything

Then he talks about how we usually hear Jesus’s story in Luke 15 described as “The Parable of the Prodigal Son.”  However, it is a story about two sons, both very lost.  And the people to whom He is directing this story are more like the elder brother than the younger, wayward son.

Most of us know the amazing ways this father deals with his younger son; the son who disrespects him, asking for his inheritance, essentially wishing his father dead.  The father takes this all, including a loss of honor and the pain of his love being rejected.  Keller writes, “Ordinarily when our love is rejected we get angry, retaliate, and do what we can to dimish our affection for the rejecting person, so we won’t hurt so much.  But this father maintains his affection for his son and bears the agony.”

Not only that, but when this son comes home, this Middle Eastern patriarch, the “dignified pillar of the community,” runs to him!  He tells the servants to bring the best robe (i.e. his own robe) the “unmistakable sign of restored standing in the family.”

However, if the message of the story were simply that, Jesus would’ve stopped the story there.  But grace and forgiveness aren’t free or even cheap.  So the story continues on with the elder brother…
When the older brother hears of all this he is furious.  Why?  Because by bringing the younger brother back in the family means he is now – again – entitled to one-third of the family wealth.  Even though he already spent his 1/3.  The elder brother’s slice of the pie is smaller now.  And when he thinks of all he’s done for his father, “never disobeying him,” he is outraged.  Why should he take a cut because his younger brother made bad choices?

Keller writes about how Jesus’s listeners would’ve been “on the edge of their seats.”  They would’ve wondered if the family would be reunited, if the frustrated elder brother would honor his father and come into the feast with him.  But Jesus stops the story there.  Why?  Because his story is directed to his enemies – the “elder brothers” right there with Him – and is pleading with them to change their hearts.

Maybe you’ve already heard that before.  But the part of the book most interesting to me was when Keller talks about redefining sin.  Both the younger and elder-brother mentality sought control.  The younger by demanding the father’s goods without his authority; the elder by obeying him perfectly and, therefore, feeling entitled to tell the father how he ought to parcel out his robe, ring and wealth.  The problem was neither wanted the father just for the father’s sake.  They both rebelled from loving him.

Jesus was driving home the point that both of these attitudes are wrong.  Keller puts it beautifully when he writes, “In [the gospel’s] view, everyone is wrong, everyone is loved, and everyone is called to recognize this and change.  By contrast, elder brothers divide the world in two: ‘The good people (like us) are in and the bad people, who are the real problem with the world, are out.’  Younger brothers, even if they don’t believe in God at all, do the same thing, saying: ‘No, the open-minded and tolerant people are in and the bigoted,  narrow-minded people, who are the real problem with the world, are out.’

But Jesus says: ‘The humble are in and the proud are out.’ The people who profess they aren’t particularly good or open-minded are moving toward God, because the prerequisite for receiving the grace of God is to know you need it.”

Isn’t that wonderful?  Mostly because most of us, if we are honest, have both younger and elder brother mindsets.  I know I do.  I like the way Keller introduces us to the solution: “Jesus’s parable creates something of a crisis for the thoughtful listener.  He has vividly portrayed both the world’s two spiritual paths, the basic ways each offers for finding happiness, relating to God, and dealing with our problems.  However, he exposes them as…dead ends.  He clearly wants us to take some radically different approach, but what is it?  Where do we find it? 

We will find the answer when we realize that Jesus deliberately left someone out of this parable.  He did this so that we would look for him and, finding him, find our own way home at last.”

After talking about how we must have the father’s initiating love and a deeper repentance than just confessing wrong behavior, Keller writes about what we really need: A True Elder Brother.  In the first two parables in Luke 15, Jesus talks about a lost sheep and the shepherd that goes to look for him… as well as a lost coin and the woman who upturns her whole house until she finds it.  But in the story of the sons, no one goes to look for the lost son.  Why not?  And whose job is it?

We know the answer by now: a true elder brother would have gone after his brother.  In love, he would’ve taken the time, the expense, and the frustration of searching him out.  He then would’ve brought him back at his own expense – since his bad-choices-making brother had already spent all his money.  Writes Keller, “The younger brother’s restoration was free to him, but it came at enormous cost to the elder brother.  The father could not just forgive the younger son, somebody had to pay!  The father could not reinstate him except at the expense of the elder brother.  There was no other way.  But Jesus does not put a true elder brother in the story, one who is willing to pay any cost to seek and save that which is lost.  It is heartbreaking.  The younger son gets a Pharaisee for a brother instead.

But we do not.

By putting a flawed elder brother in the story, Jesus is inviting us to imagine and yearn for a true one.”

We know Jesus is the true elder brother.  We know He spent everything and came from heaven to earth to seek us out.  We know He paid for us and took our place.  We know we have absolutely no rights in the family of God, save for what He did for us.  It’s a beautiful parable.  And the Truth of it is the only thing that will change our hearts.

I hope this made you want to read the book!  Because Keller doesn’t end it here.  And my review doesn’t do it justice.  It’s super short – but very meaty.  I liked it.

I learned in a book a long time ago that we tend to have the most trouble parenting the child that is most like us.  Typically, first born parents struggle raising their first borns.  Youngests have a hard time with fellow free-wheeling youngests.  Etc.

Well.  I’ve decided that in our family it’s temperament that is dictating.  My oldest’s temperament is most similiar to my own.  Therefore more difficult for me.  We can clash.  We both want to control our days.  We’re both spirited and want my husband’s attention 🙂  He’s surprisingly coordinated when he needs to be…and yet can still spill large amounts of liquid (or food or toys) when he’s not focused.  Just Like Me.

My mom said I gave up naps at two years old.  Two years old.  Maybe that sounds normal to some of you.  I still feel sorry for mom about that!  My Caden still takes naps.  But that inevitably means early morning rising for us. 

Lest you think we only clash and I only complain…I love him so much!  He truly has a sensitive heart and cares about others.  When I watch him holler at a group of older boys in our neighborhood who I know will pretend not to hear him…and he hollers anyway…well.  Let’s just say I choke back the tears and my heart breaks a little every time.  He loves everyone and wants everyone to love him.  Even people who will hurt him and may not be best for him. 

Last night we played Memory.  He won.  And I promise you, Dan and I did not let him win.  He remembers things very easily.  I’m interested to watch how he maneuvers through school – alternately most interested in learning…and most interested in socializing.

He wants to please us.  If we jump all over him without explaining what happened, his heart breaks. 

Well there are more things I want to tell you about my sweet boy.  But he’s wanting to play Memory again.  And we have a Family Fun Friday to get started…my man is on Spring Break and we’re planning some fun activites today!  I love my family.

I love you, God— you make me strong.
God is bedrock under my feet,

the castle in which I live,

my rescuing knight.

My God—the high crag

where I run for dear life,

hiding behind the boulders,

safe in the granite hideout.

3 I sing to God, the Praise-Lofty,

and find myself safe and saved.

4-5 The hangman’s noose was tight at my throat;

devil waters rushed over me.

Hell’s ropes cinched me tight;

death traps barred every exit.

6 A hostile world! I call to God,

I cry to God to help me.

From his palace he hears my call;

my cry brings me right into his presence—

a private audience!

7-15 Earth wobbles and lurches;

huge mountains shake like leaves,

Quake like aspen leaves

because of his rage.

His nostrils flare, bellowing smoke;

his mouth spits fire.

Tongues of fire dart in and out;

he lowers the sky.

He steps down;

under his feet an abyss opens up.

He’s riding a winged creature,

swift on wind-wings.

Now he’s wrapped himself

in a trenchcoat of black-cloud darkness.

But his cloud-brightness bursts through,

spraying hailstones and fireballs.

Then God thundered out of heaven;

the High God gave a great shout,

spraying hailstones and fireballs.

God shoots his arrows—pandemonium!

He hurls his lightnings—a rout!

The secret sources of ocean are exposed,

the hidden depths of earth lie uncovered

The moment you roar in protest,

let loose your hurricane anger.

16-19 But me he caught—reached all the way

from sky to sea; he pulled me out

Of that ocean of hate, that enemy chaos,

the void in which I was drowning.

They hit me when I was down,

but God stuck by me.

He stood me up on a wide-open field;

I stood there saved—surprised to be loved!

20-24 God made my life complete

when I placed all the pieces before him.

When I got my act together,

he gave me a fresh start.

Now I’m alert to God’s ways;

I don’t take God for granted.

Every day I review the ways he works;

I try not to miss a trick.

I feel put back together,

and I’m watching my step.

God rewrote the text of my life

when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes.

25-27 The good people taste your goodness,

The whole people taste your health,

The true people taste your truth,

The bad ones can’t figure you out.

You take the side of the down-and-out,

But the stuck-up you take down a peg.

28-29 Suddenly, God, you floodlight my life;

I’m blazing with glory, God’s glory!

I smash the bands of marauders,

I vault the highest fences.

30 What a God! His road

stretches straight and smooth.

Every God-direction is road-tested.

Everyone who runs toward him

Makes it.

31-42 Is there any god like God?

Are we not at bedrock?

Is not this the God who armed me,

then aimed me in the right direction?

Now I run like a deer;

I’m king of the mountain.

He shows me how to fight;

I can bend a bronze bow!

You protect me with salvation-armor;

you hold me up with a firm hand,

caress me with your gentle ways.

You cleared the ground under me

so my footing was firm.

46-48 Live, God! Blessings from my Rock,

my free and freeing God, towering!

This God set things right for me

and shut up the people who talked back.

He rescued me from enemy anger,

he pulled me from the grip of upstarts,

He saved me from the bullies.

49-50 That’s why I’m thanking you, God,

all over the world.

That’s why I’m singing songs

that rhyme your name.

God’s king takes the trophy;

God’s chosen is beloved.

I mean David and all his children—

always

Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners – of whom I am the worst.  But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life.  Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever.  Amen.

1Tim1:15-17

You will lead me beside streams of water on a level path where I will not stumble, because You are my Father (Jer31:9)

Thank You that Your kindness leads me toward repentance (Rom2:4)

You will not despise a broken and contrite heart (Ps51:17)

Thank you for having no condemnation for those who are in Jesus (Rom8:1)

If You are for me, who can be against me?  It is you who justifies.  Who is he that condemns?  Jesus is at Your right hand & He is interceding for me. (Rom8:31,34)
I can know my sins are forgiven on account of Your good name.  I can be strong because the Word of God lives in me and in You I have overcome the evil one (1Jn2:12,14)

You made my Savior’s life a guilt offering for me (Is53:10)  His death was enough to handle my guilt.

I don’t think these were just for me today!

Colossians 3:16 The Message:

Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other. None of this going off and doing your own thing. And cultivate thankfulness. Let the Word of Christ—the Message—have the run of the house. Give it plenty of room in your lives. Instruct and direct one another using good common sense. And sing, sing your hearts out to God! Let every detail in your lives—words, actions, whatever—be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way.

Colossians 1:14 The Message:

I want you to know how glad I am that it’s me sitting here in this jail and not you. There’s a lot of suffering to be entered into in this world—the kind of suffering Christ takes on. I welcome the chance to take my share in the church’s part of that suffering. When I became a servant in this church, I experienced this suffering as a sheer gift, God’s way of helping me serve you, laying out the whole truth.

I will likely be tested on the very things I’ve judged others about (Romans 2:1)

Ephesians 2:10 (Amplified):

For we are God’s own handiwork, born anew in Christ Jesus that we may take paths which He prepared ahead of time for us, living the life He made ready for us to live.

Psalm 73:21-28 The Message:

When I was beleaguered and bitter,

totally consumed by envy,

I was totally ignorant, a dumb ox

in your very presence.

I’m still in your presence,

but you’ve taken my hand.

You wisely and tenderly lead me,

and then you bless me.

You’re all I want in heaven!

You’re all I want on earth!

When my skin sags and my bones get brittle,

God is rock-firm and faithful.

Look! Those who left you are falling apart!

Deserters, they’ll never be heard from again.

But I’m in the very presence of God—

oh, how refreshing it is!

I’ve made Lord God my home.

God, I’m telling the world what you do!

Matthew 18 The Message:

1 At about the same time, the disciples came to Jesus asking, “Who gets the highest rank in God’s kingdom?”

2-5For an answer Jesus called over a child, whom he stood in the middle of the room, and said, “I’m telling you, once and for all, that unless you return to square one and start over like children, you’re not even going to get a look at the kingdom, let alone get in. Whoever becomes simple and elemental again, like this child, will rank high in God’s kingdom. What’s more, when you receive the childlike on my account, it’s the same as receiving me. 6-7″But if you give them a hard time, bullying or taking advantage of their simple trust, you’ll soon wish you hadn’t. You’d be better off dropped in the middle of the lake with a millstone around your neck. Doom to the world for giving these God-believing children a hard time! Hard times are inevitable, but you don’t have to make it worse—and it’s doomsday to you if you do.

8-9″If your hand or your foot gets in the way of God, chop it off and throw it away. You’re better off maimed or lame and alive than the proud owners of two hands and two feet, godless in a furnace of eternal fire. And if your eye distracts you from God, pull it out and throw it away. You’re better off one-eyed and alive than exercising your twenty-twenty vision from inside the fire of hell.

10″Watch that you don’t treat a single one of these childlike believers arrogantly. You realize, don’t you, that their personal angels are constantly in touch with my Father in heaven?

Work It Out Between You

12-14″Look at it this way. If someone has a hundred sheep and one of them wanders off, doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine and go after the one? And if he finds it, doesn’t he make far more over it than over the ninety-nine who stay put? Your Father in heaven feels the same way. He doesn’t want to lose even one of these simple believers.

15-17″If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him—work it out between the two of you. If he listens, you’ve made a friend. If he won’t listen, take one or two others along so that the presence of witnesses will keep things honest, and try again. If he still won’t listen, tell the church. If he won’t listen to the church, you’ll have to start over from scratch, confront him with the need for repentance, and offer again God’s forgiving love.

18-20″Take this most seriously: A yes on earth is yes in heaven; a no on earth is no in heaven. What you say to one another is eternal. I mean this. When two of you get together on anything at all on earth and make a prayer of it, my Father in heaven goes into action. And when two or three of you are together because of me, you can be sure that I’ll be there.”

A Story About Forgiveness

21At that point Peter got up the nerve to ask, “Master, how many times do I forgive a brother or sister who hurts me? Seven?”

22Jesus replied, “Seven! Hardly. Try seventy times seven.

23-25″The kingdom of God is like a king who decided to square accounts with his servants. As he got under way, one servant was brought before him who had run up a debt of a hundred thousand dollars. He couldn’t pay up, so the king ordered the man, along with his wife, children, and goods, to be auctioned off at the slave market.

26-27″The poor wretch threw himself at the king’s feet and begged, ‘Give me a chance and I’ll pay it all back.’ Touched by his plea, the king let him off, erasing the debt.

28″The servant was no sooner out of the room when he came upon one of his fellow servants who owed him ten dollars. He seized him by the throat and demanded, ‘Pay up. Now!’

29-31″The poor wretch threw himself down and begged, ‘Give me a chance and I’ll pay it all back.’ But he wouldn’t do it. He had him arrested and put in jail until the debt was paid. When the other servants saw this going on, they were outraged and brought a detailed report to the king.

32-35″The king summoned the man and said, ‘You evil servant! I forgave your entire debt when you begged me for mercy. Shouldn’t you be compelled to be merciful to your fellow servant who asked for mercy?’ The king was furious and put the screws to the man until he paid back his entire debt. And that’s exactly what my Father in heaven is going to do to each one of you who doesn’t forgive unconditionally anyone who asks for mercy.”

“Finding out he wouldn’t be hated if he failed had the power to change his heart.”

~ 12 “Christian” Beliefs That Can Drive You Crazy by Cloud & Townsend

Ahh.  I love warmer weather!  The kids in our neighborhood are over playing tag with Caden.  Swords are involved.

Caleb is sitting at my feet in the Bumbo.  Drool is involved.

I am thinking about how good He is.  Tears are involved.  (Okay, I’m not actually crying.  Yet.)

Did you know the PreK program is government-funded?  That means Caden will have to pass certain standard tests to be considered to go there in the fall.  Actually I think he’ll have to fail those tests.  To be considered at-risk.  I knew we watched one too many Letter Factory videos!

But when I think of him getting involved there, I get excited.  One of the older girls that was over here (at least she was 10 minutes ago) told me there is a Bible Club at the school down the street.  How exciting is that?  I know they cannot afford very many paras — and that there is low parent involvement.  I think I could enjoy helping make a positive change there.  With His help and strength.  (And ability to let go of control with my child!)

A new verse: 2Tim1:7 “For the spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.”

You know how Paul said, “So I strive always to keep my conscience clear before God and man.” (Acts24:16)?  Well I’ve been thinking through that.  It takes awhile for me to work through a general sense of guilt and condemnation (not from Him) to get to specific areas I’ve fallen short on and need to confess (from Him).  So I don’t want to grovel on this blog (and really who wants to read that?), but I do want to make one more public confession.

Several weeks ago I wrote a very reactive blog post and then deleted it.  (If you don’t know what I’m talking about, just be grateful and move on with your life!)  I wasn’t being honest with myself about some of my feelings and, therefore, it was a lie.  Ew.  Yuck.  Hard thing to face in yourself. 

I’m writing to say I understand it was wrong and I am sorry.  I’ve been disciplined by my faithful Father and I am forgiven.  But I needed to confess to those of you who care about me.  Taking responsibility for my own sin – but no one else’s – admitting I’m wrong and letting Him pick me up and us moving on together is my goal.  But once again, if I have hurt you somehow, I want you to please let me know. 

Okaaayyy…and Done!  I get to move on in freedom on this little blog-o-mine 🙂