Often I have moments where I’m like, “I was made for this kind of life.” Ever since we left to go overseas, I’ve loved the rhythm of my days. Especially versus the 40 hour work week. See, I’m not much of a task person. It’s not that I can’t, and I do enjoy projects, but it’s just that I’m either in my head with ideas or focused on people most of the time. And I have to disengage from that to live in this Western world of tasks and busy and go go go.

So that’s what I mean about loving this stay at home life. For one, we don’t always stay at home! But I love that my life is focused on taking care of my family and engaging in relationships with my friends, in our neighborhood, at my part-time job, in my women’s group, at church. And reading – both interesting and varied ideas on the internet and books. It’s good stuff. It would drive lots of people crazy. But I actually feel like I’ve been waiting for this type of lifestyle all my life!

(Please don’t burst my bubble and tell me how much harder the above will be with additional children. I’m pretending that’s not the case!)

(Which also reminds me of something a co-worker told me once. I go, “You always burst my bubble.” To which she replied, “But Jamie, you have so many bubbles to burst!”)

But because I was a busy addict when we first moved into a calm, relational culture, God was kind and gave me a verse I clung to at the beginning:

“For this reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.” 2Pet1:5-8

So in God’s mind, these are the things that make us effective and productive for His Kingdom. Interesting, huh? Especially to our American minds. This will either be a relief to you or a giant challenge. It’s some of both for me.

Okay, last three:

“Patience is restraining my impulse to do God’s job for Him!” – Boundaries

1Cor10:31(Paraphrase): Everything I do, help me do it with the goal of seeing You and others seeing You in me.

2Cor3:17-18: I am being transformed into the likeness of the One living in me – ever increasingly and from Him

It’s His work really. Yeah, we have things to do in cooperating, no doubt. But let’s rest in the fact that there is a God, and we’re not Him.

Have a good one!

I feel the need to justify why I’m putting yet another link on here this morning. Which probably means I should just be silent:

http://www.conversiondiary.com/2008/01/admitting-that-i-cant-do-it-allor-even.html

Uh oh. Dusting off the Patriarchs Bible Study found me some new quotes. Believe me, I don’t enjoy typing out this one. I get it too well.

Genesis 16 (When Sarai gives Hagar to Abram so they can “help” God give them the Child of the Promise):

“We might entitle this portion of Scripture “The Trouble with Helping God.” And believe me, it always leads to trouble. Satan capitalizes on this portion of our femininity. God has wired us in wonderful ways. By nature we tend to be nurturers, straighteners, fixers. To want to help is part of our original wiring. Most men don’t have an affinity for hearing other people’s problelms, but women often thrive on it. Why? Partly because we enjoy telling people what to do with their lives. It’s in our wiring. Clearly Sarai got her wires crossed.

Satan prides himself on tangling our wiring until the outcome is a knotted counterfeit. Help tangles into manipulation with the slightest rerouting. Recently I was preparing for a Sunday school lesson when a related sentence came into my mind that seemed to come from the Holy Spirit:

“Anything you have to manipulate to get is rarely yours to keep.”

I sat before God recalling instances in my life which support such a statement. Sometimes I knew I was being manipulative. Other times I sincerely convinced myself I was just trying to help and wanted what was best for everybody. (I know this is shocking to all of you who are like me, but wanting what is best is not always synonymous with knowing what is best.)

I can remember trying to manipulate certain relationships and interests for my husband, my children, or myself. Although such manipulations sometimes got off to a promising start, they never “kept.”

Oh my, my, my. Deal with me God.

Daniel is the current Beth Moore study I’m doing. I loved loved loved doing it during the presidential election last fall (yeah it takes me awhile to get through studies!). Nothing like a little perspective.

Anyway, two quotes are on my heart tonight. One from that study and the other from the Patriarchs. They are seamless, though…

“When we pass an orange orchard in Florida, we don’t exclaim, ‘Behold what great things those trees have done!’ They’re doing what they were created for. Your life and mine will be well lived and greatly influential if we simply ask God to empower us to do that for which we were created… Alexander the Great would have been greater had he seen himself smaller. No human being is wise or powerful enough to attain the swift feats of Alexander the Great. The sovereign God who “sets up kings and deposes them” (Dan 2:21) had an agenda. Among other things, God used Alexander the Great to ‘spread the Greek language and culture all over the world, an act that prepared the world for the gospel by giving it a common speech, Koine Greek, the language of the New Testament.'”

“God’s exaltation of a man is never for the man himself but rather to glorify God and to edify others. If God ever exalts one of His own with position, wealth, talents, gifts, or influence, His purpose is never – not ever – human exaltation. In fact, the exalted person would be the last one the exaltation was meant to serve. For him or her the exaltation would be a test and a profound trust over anything else. Mark this equation on the chalkboard of your brain:

Exaltation + Ego = Extravagant Humbling.”

You are calling on me to be completely humble and gentle, to be patient, bearing with others in love (Eph4). Help me to live in harmony with others, be sympathetic, love as a sister, be compassionate & humble (1Pet3). Help me to slander no one, to be peaceable & considerate, and to show true humility toward all people (Titus3). Help me to clothe myself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness & patience (Col3). Help me to look not only to my own interests but also to the interests of others. Please give me Jesus’ attitude, Who poured Himself out for those who didn’t deserve it (Phil2).

“The message of the Bible is to make heroes out of the gifts that are less visible” – Pastor Jim

“Direction, not perfection. We don’t go this direction perfectly, but we must pursue this direction” – Pastor Terry

“By faith, lean into those things which indtimidate you” – Pastor Dave

“Our assumption is we will sin against each other. But we must be ready to be reconciled – quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to become angry, quick to apologize & quick to forgive.” – River Heart Attitude “Maintain Clear Relationships”

“I pray for them. I am not praying for the world, but for those you have given me, for they are yours. I will remain in the world no longer, but they are still in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, protect them by the power of your name – the name that you gave me – so that they may be one as we are one. I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth. My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one. Father, just as you are in me and I am in you, may they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me.” – Jesus

What’s that you say? You’d like another Conversion Diary link? And if I can spare, my most recent favorite skin care tip? I aim to please.

So I teach one or two mornings a week a class called Fall Avoidance. I love it. We practice balance, gait, spatial awareness, posture and strength. The youngest person is in her sixties. I love being around people with wisdom. And let me just say, age and wisdom don’t seem to necessarily go together. You can see the people who’ve chosen to let bitterness with life be their driving force until they’re finished. But most of them have so much to teach me. They’ve lived. They see. They’ve experienced. They know there’s nothing new under the sun (Ecclesiastes). And yet God regularly does a New Thing (Isaiah). I love listening to their stories.

Anyway, the other day I just had to ask one of my younger ladies (or so I thought) what her skin care regimen was. She absolutely glows. She goes, “Every night I wash my face with soap and put on a moisturizer. And since I was 21 I’ve put Vaseline around my eyes before bed. And now I’m 76.” WhAt?! I thought she was younger than my mom. She admitted to good genes. But come on. I’m totally using $2 Vaseline from now on. You could almost sense her humor at my reaction. You kids and thinking you need these fancy organic products. Pure petroleum jelly is what we used for diaper rash for crying in the night.

Here’s the link. Enjoy. And meditate:

http://www.conversiondiary.com/2008/02/cat-vomit-temper-tantrums-and-dying-to.html

“The name of the LORD is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe”

Not sure. Just won’t get out of my head.

I am begging you. You need to buy, rent, or borrow from a friend Francine River’s The Mark of the Lion trilogy. Nothing else has so shaped my understanding of the New Testament and our culture like it. I know. Big claims. But let’s face it. No one writes like Francine Rivers.

You don’t even necessarily need to read the 3rd book in my opinion. And you have to muscle through the first several chapters of historical Roman context in the first book. But after that, look out. You better carve out some serious hunker down time. Love it. (Unless all that stuff I just wrote would give you such high expectations that the only result is them crashing to the ground. In which case don’t expect much.)

http://www.amazon.com/Mark-Lion-Voice-Wind-Darkness/dp/0842339523/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1254940386&sr=8-4

The words running through my head today are these:

Isaiah 48:17,18: I am the LORD your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go. If only you had paid attention to my commands, your peace would have been like a river, your righteousness like the waves of the sea.

“The key to peace is authority. When we allow the Prince of Peace to govern our lives, peace either immediately or ultimately results. Sometimes when we finally give up trying to discover all the answers to the “why’s” in our lives and decide to trust a sovereign God, unexpected peace washes over us like a summer rain…

If a few of us were completely honest, we might admit to thinking of peaceful people as boring and a breath from death. ‘I really want to live! I’d rather forego peace and have an exciting life!’ we say.

Beloved, few bodies of water are more exciting than rivers! When was the last time you saw white-water rapids? We can have active, exciting lives without suffering through a life of turmoil.

When God used the analogy of a river, He described a peace that can be retained while life twists and turns and rolls over boulders. Let’s resist picturing peaceful people as expressionless monks. To have peace like a river is to have security and tranquility of heart and mind while meeting many bumps and unexpected turns on life’s journey. Peace is submission to Authority, not resignation from all activity. Remember, however, that any activity that cannot be brought under the umbrella of God’s authority will prove to be a source of turmoil and exhaustion.”

– Beth Moore’s Breaking Free. Only has The Patriarchs: Encountering the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob touched my life as much as that Bible Study. Okay, and the Mark of the Lion triolgy 🙂 And a few other books. Leave me alone.

God works in themes in my life. He always has. I know that I need to pay attention to something when it’s all I hear or read about. And sometimes the way He uses it in my life looks differently than I thought it would.

For example, when we were waiting for our son’s arrival, we got to know a couple in Turkey who were also displaced. They had been in China but health issues had brought them to Turkey that year to be near medical help. We liked them. Almost immediately, we talked about kids and stuff. They had 3 kids and she announced they were pregnant shortly after we met. Huh. I had only known a few other families with that many kids. I was impressed.

As we got to know them better, she started talking about how they’d let go of the idea of controlling the size of their family. I started getting nervous. What did that mean? We talked alot about it. Alot. I couldn’t just move on. I had to understand this thinking in its entirety.

Then our boy was born. And I wanted out. I couldn’t believe anyone did this more than once, let alone 4 – 8 times. We figured some stuff out. Like that first 3 month period mercifully ends at 3 months. That some people have to supplement nursing. That other than some moral guidelines in Scripture, God has not given us one right way to parent. That God was for us and not against us in raising this precious soul. Good stuff to figure out.

But when we got back to America, every blog I read, every mom I talked to, many books I was exposed to had this theme of not controlling everything. Life is better when we don’t try to control everything. Again. Huh. Not exactly what I’d been raised with.

This is getting long, but I feel the need to link to my three favorite posts on this topic. No we don’t have plans for 10 kids. No we haven’t landed on anything other than the Pill was hideous for me the last two years I was on it before our son was conceived and I will never go back on it. Which means we have to be careful. Or not and just go with it. It means I had to learn a lot more about my body. And open my mind to the possibility that there are other ways of life out there. But even with that information I don’t feel compelled to have a ton of kids. And some of my favorite examples of Christ followers have two kids. So that’s what I mean about Him not always using themes in my life the way I think He will. I’m still waiting to see what this theme’s purpose is. Maybe I’ll never know.

Here’s the posts. All three are long. And full of controversial thinking. Such as the Catholic Church’s teaching on contraception (which I’m not defending nor criticizing, and DITTO with anyone’s political views!) and this phenomenon some call “The Quiverfull Movement.” Don’t read them unless you have time. And a willingness to think without immediately judging.

http://www.conversiondiary.com/2008/01/how-i-became-pro-life.html

http://www.conversiondiary.com/2007/06/contraception-and-womans-self-image.html

http://humblemusings.com/?p=656