“I believe something huge happened for young John [when his brother was the first disciple martyred and Peter was miraculously released from prison instead of executed]. I think he came to the startling realization that we are each on our own before God. Every life is separate and distinct. We may think we have partnerships in life and ministry without which we cannot exist or operate. We may think that everything in the Christian experience is about body life, but it is not. Yes, we’re all parts of the body of Christ, and we function in each generation as parts of a whole; but until we each stand before God with a shocking awareness of our solitary standing, I’m not sure we have a clue about our part…

Will we loose our hold on anything and anyone else as a prerequisite to following Christ in the intensity of aloneness? If you can answer quickly, I’m not sure you grasp the seriousness…

‘I’m so far out on a limb with God now, if I even think of walking by sight instead of faith, I’m dead.’

How much of your life you’ve invested in Jesus is the issue. Have we held some back of ourselves – just in case He’s not as real, as powerful, as active as we thought? Or have we banked everything we have and everything we are on the reality that Jesus Christ is Lord of all the earth? We will never fulfill our destinies until our hope is built on nothing less…

We can lock arms with fellow servants just as the disciples did. For the parts of the whole to work as God intended them, however, each part must stand on its own before a highly personal God. When a wave of loneliness suddenly erupts, ride it…

The intensity of your solitary estate is often most obvious when you fight to reconcile the facts of life with the words of faith. Do you grapple, like John, with questions like, ‘Why did God let my brother die but perform a miracle for my best friend?’ I’m not sure John ever figured this one out. He was thankful his friend’s life was spared, but why was James’ life seemingly less significant? Why Lord? And what about me?

Solitude is not so much the place we find answers as the place we decide if we’re going on, possibly alone – without them. Many of us will. Why? Because the privilege of wrestling with such a holy and mysterious God still beats the numbness and pitiful mediocrity of life otherwise. He knows that what we crave far more than explanations is the unshakable conviction that He is utterly, supremely God.”

Whoa. I wasn’t even looking for this quote. I thought another one was on my heart in this Beloved Disciple study this morning. Nope, this is it.

That when my man saw this morning that all the frosting had been eaten off the rest of the pumpkin cake, he assumed his wife had done it…and not his 2-year-old son!

That’s funny on so many levels.

Ah, maturity. We’re working on it.

We do not set God up for success. He sets us up for success.

I am coming out of a year of unparalleled transition. Nothing seems untouched. Relationships, circumstances, surroundings – everything changed. I held on for dear life to anything standing still. One morning on my way to work, I made the same stop I had made for 18 months: my favorite little coffee shop. I pranced in and made my usual order: “a banana nut bagel with plain cream cheese, please.” The server looked at me cheerfully and said, “We’re not carrying that kind anymore. Is there something else I can get you today?”

I stood stunned with my eyebrows pinned like two barrettes to my hairline. I must have been in shock for some time because the person behined me finally bumped me out of the way providing all I needed to burst into tears. As I walked out to the car, I looked up and inquired, “Could I have one thing around this place I can count on?!”

As I got in the car, I sensed the Father speak His Word to my heart. “Beth, I will never leave you nor will I ever forsake you.”

-Breaking Free

We have such tendency toward extremes. We find security in “always” and “nevers.” People crave a human worth worshipping. Our deep need for unfailing love is so cavernous, when someone seems to fill it, we feel compelled to worship him or her. We are wise not to try to deliver. – Beth Moore

Worship is an activity of the human soul. Not only do all people worship, but they worship all the time. Worship isn’t just a Sunday thing. It’s an all-the-time thing.

So how do you know where and what you worship?

It’s easy. You simply follow the trail of your time, your affection, your energy, your money, and your allegiance. At the end of the trail you’ll find a throne; and whatever, or whomever, is on that throne is what’s of highest value to you. On that throne is what you worship.

Sure, not too many of us walk around saying, ‘I worship my stuff. I worhip my job. I worship this pleasure. I worship her. I worship my body. I worship me!’

But the trail never lies. We may say we value this thing or that thing more than any other, but the volume of our actions speaks louder than our words.

We are continually making decisions based on what we value most.

– Louie Giglio

I’ve never forgotten this little rant on frugality…

http://www.commonsensewithmoney.com/2008/10/please-dont-call-me-cheap/

As high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is Your love for those who fear You. Ps103

You are my God and I am among the sheep of Your pasture, the flock under Your care. Ps95

Help me never to be afraid; I am worth far more to You than many sparrows. Luke12

Though You bring grief, You will show compassion, so great is Your unfailing love. Lam3

You saved me, not because of righteous things I had done, but because of Your mercy. Titus3

You broke the bars of my yoke and enabled me to walk with my head held high. Lev26

You will fulfill Your purpose for me. Ps138

You Who called me will Yourself restore me and make me strong, firm and steadfast. 1Pet5 (Peter, Mr. Deny-Him-Three-Times, would know – am I right?)

I am not ashamed. For I know Whom I have believed, and am convinced You are able to guard what I have entrusted to You for that day. 2Tim1

Caden inherited a big Tonka truck from his buddy who moved. Don’t tell me 2-year-olds aren’t smart. He’s figured out how to position that stupid truck near the cabinet, climb on top of it, and reach whatever it was he wanted. Which this morning meant Halloween candy. For breakfast. Not bad, my son. Not bad.

The night before our wedding, after hanging out with friends who live in Hawaii and friends from high school and family and friends from college, my man goes, “I hope in heaven, we get to have a house next to all these guys.” (Yes, I got a good one.)

This morning we moved out our friends. We’ve (literally) been all over the world the last four years. They’ve been our one constant. Aside from our One Constant. We’ve seen each other through the ugliest character issues surfacing through culture shock (if you’re reading this, guys, I’m talking about my issues 😉 ), our first born boys, postpartum (the women had some moments afterwards too), living in an apartment together for 6 weeks in a foreign country with one wife on bedrest and the other one with a screaming, colicky infant (and we still like each other!), visa dramas, “church” – just the four of us with an iPod-, friends’ deaths, family’s surgeries, family’s deaths, family’s transplants, families driving us crazy, driving each other crazy, figuring out how to be parents and, well, you get the idea.

Yes, I’ve cried a lot the last few weeks. And been homesick for the area they get to return to. But mostly I’m just excited for them. That’s from Him. I don’t care about other people that much on my own. I’m not that nice.

But it is hard. What a void. Caden’s best buddy, hands down. Other friends don’t even come close.

*Sigh.* No, this isn’t heaven. But it’s coming. And until then, we are here for a reason. And most of that has to do with joining Him in making sure other people are in heaven, too. Worth it.

Still, this is the quote in my heart right this moment:

“Intimacy with God grows through sharing every realm of experience. I’ve wept bitterly with Him. I’ve screamed in frustration. Sometimes I thought He was going to break my heart in two. But I’ve also laughed out loud with Him. Wept with unspeakable joy. Left the chair and gone to my knees in awe. Squealed with excitement.

I have been to every extremity and back with God. But if I had to define my relationship with Him by one general statement, I would tell you that He is the absolute joy of my life. I don’t just love Him. I love loving Him. Surrendering my heart to Him has not been a sacrifice. I don’t know any other way to say it: He works for me.

I am hesitant to say all of this because I would be sickened to think I might sound proud of my relationship with God. Please hear my heart when I tell you that the greatest joy in my life is the very thing I have deserved least. I consider the ability to love Him and enjoy Him an absolute gift of grace…one He will gladly extend to anyone who offers Him her whole heart.”

– Breaking Free

We will pray for you all the time, guys. Write us all the funny stuff. And remember to shove food down their throats.

The boy is sleeping a long time. Means more blog posts…

“He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful” (John 15:2)

If you are a true follower of Jesus Christ, I bet you sometimes feel like God is picking on you. Have you ever exclaimed in exasperation, “God never lets me get away with anything”? Have you ever noticed that God seems particularly jealous with you? That He extracts from your life mindless and meaningless activities that He seems to “put up with” in other believers’ lives? That, dear one, is because you have proved to be a cooperative fruit-bearing child and He knows He has a prime branch through whom He can be all the more glorified…

I believe this verse suggests that God works all the harder on the child that is producing fruit so he or she will produce even more…

God desires for those who bear fruit to bear more fruit and those who bear more fruit to bear much fruit!

To the best of your biblical undersanding, based on an abiding sense of God’s presence and pleasure as opposed to numbers and notoriety, where do you think you may presently be on a scale from no apparent fruit, to some fruit, then more fruit, and finally to much fruit?

The pickier we let Him be with us, the more productive He will be through us. When all is said and done and we are living in heaven, all that will matter is whether or not our lives glorified God…

The fact of the matter is that we have been called to lives of obedience. Yes, the grace of God covers our sins as we trust in Christ’s finished work on the cross. But we will not bear much fruit without obedience to the Father’s will. According to John 15:10, if we don’t walk closely to Him in obedience, we will never draw near enough to abide in His love. He loves us no matter what we do, but we will not be able to pitch our spiritual tents in His presence when we’re disobedient.

Does this sound like a life of just serving and sacrificing? Then you’d better read John 15:11 again. Jesus said, ‘I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.’ God longs to bless us with abundant life and joy. And not just any joy – Christ’s joy! Perfect, full, magnetic, and contagious!

God doesn’t just have more for you. He has much. Much love. Much fruit. Much joy. And the God of the universe derives much glory from one measly mortal. Who can beat a deal like that?”

– The Beloved Disciple. I loved learning about Jesus’s heart buddy, John