I’ve thought recently about my excitement in writing some things down, but I also want to make sure and record how at rest I feel.

This whole thing feels like such a joy!  It feels like it’s flowing from His perfect timing.  He has so changed my heart over the past 13 years that this writing – and living all the concepts – are not tendons of legalism for me.  They are my heart’s delight because of what He has done in me. 

I am not currently struggling with trying to earn His love.  He has proven that to me over and over. 

(I’m not sure what made me click on her blog again last night, but I did.  I re-read this post and found myself nodding and nodding.  He is good.)

But I also want to make sure and record how He has shown me the thrill of obedience to Him.  I don’t dare miss out on that thrill!  If this is what He’s asking me to write right now, then it is my privilege to align my life with the task.

So.  The current.  I’m helping with Kids’ Kamp at our church this week.  Talk about joy in simplicity!

We painted the cement and church walls with water, bounced in a bouncy castle, rocked when the pain of losing momma to a room full of strangers was too much, delighted in grapes, cheerios and juice boxes, giggled into the microphone as we repeated verses. 

Can you tell I’m helping with the toddlers?  They’re so great.  Not babies anymore; not quite preschoolers.  I read a book once that called them “changelings.”  I think that name is stuck in my mind toward this precious group of kids. 

It’s also my joy to help with this group since my little one is a toddler.  We get to hang together even as I help and serve.  I like to watch from a bit of a distance how he interacts with other kids.  I like to see what activities he prefers amidst options.  I like to observe whether he obeys other adults when he doesn’t know I’m looking.  I learn a lot hanging with him in a group of people.  He’s a keeper.

It is not hard to see why Jesus said,

“Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”

Simple trust.  Faith like a child.  Joy in the simple things. 

They have so much to teach the rest of us.

Okay.  My boy – you know, the actual toddler living in my house – just woke up. 

Time to live out simplicity in action!

It is my joy.

Hi!  No, I didn’t type about simple things yesterday.  But I lived them!

– Electricity went out (the boys were disappointed that a blown transformer wasn’t a car that turns into a man) and did things like put the diapers on a line outside instead of the dryer. 

– Played with little one while big one and Dan headed to 4-H.

– Loved on some seniors who are already starting to trust and warm to me after 2 classes together.  There’s 30 of them!  I’m not used to teaching that many at once, but there’s some fun energy to it.

– Did some errands while my little date ate a PB sandwich.

– Read, read, read!

– Hung with my man after 4-H until he headed out to study before class.  We used his exit as an opportunity to head to a friend’s house whose hubs is out of town.  Together our littles splashed in a kiddie pool, ran through a sprinkler, and played with sand while we chatted and enjoyed a glass of wine as the sun lowered beyond the trees.

Yes, it was a satisfying day.

I was thinking about a quote from Foster’s book that has helped me a lot since we took the leap and bought a house:

“There is an intrinsic relationship between simplicity and prayer, especially that central aspect of prayer which is trust. 

My children love pancakes.  When they were young, once in a while I would get up early to fix them a batch.  It was interesting to watch those boys.  They would wolf down pancakes as if there were an endless supply.  They were not worried one whit about the price of eggs or my ability to provide them with pancakes.  Not once did I see them slipping some into a pocket, thinking, “I don’t know about Dad; I’d better put away a little stash so that I can be sure of pancakes tomorrow.” 

As far as they were concerned, the reservoir of pancakes was infinite.  They knew that all they needed to do was ask and, if it was in their best interest, they would receive.  They lived in trust. 

Without this spirit of trust we would find it exceedingly difficult (should I say impossible?) to live on the basis of prayer for daily bread.  No, we would need an adequate stash somewhere, just in case – and be assured that what we now have is never adequate. 

Paul counseled Christians to live free from anxiety.  That, of course, is more easily said than done.  Everything in our training and in our culture combats a carefree spirit of unconcern.  How can we be free from anxiety?  What resource is available to us?  Paul perceived the resource to be prayer:

‘Have no anxiety about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God’ (Phil 4:6). 

Prayer frees us from anxiety because it teaches us trust.  The result is peace:

‘And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.’ (Phil 4:7). 

Prayer and simplicity are intertwined.

(Foster, pgs. 13-14)

I don’t know how I would have gotten past some generational money anxiety the past year or so without others’ prayers on my behalf.  I still struggle with fear once in a while in this category, but my people have been so good to ask God on my behalf for trust.

Do you struggle with it, too?

I know the following verse isn’t in the context of contentment or provision, but God used it to speak to my heart in this area.

“Then He said to them,

                 ‘Why are you fearful? 

                                        Do you still have no faith?’

(Mark 4:40 HCSB)

When I revert, He carefully reminds me of all the ways He’s been faithful in providing up til now and challenges me to not fear the future.

Okay, for the less calm and kind quote.  I mentioned God had me read a few more books since last time.  One of them was Money, Possessions, and Eternity by Randy Alcorn.  (Yes, 2 Alcorn books…becoming a fan of his.)

Here’s a foretaste of the kind of stuff he has to say:

“Are we truly obeying the command to love our neighbor as ourselves if we’re storing up money for potential future needs when our neighbor is laboring today under actual present needs?”

(pg. 334)

Don’t worry.  He makes sure to talk about saving and retirement and the wisdom in those disciplines.  But he also points out that Jesus seems to think there’s a limit to that saving (see Luke 12:16-21).

Or as Jen Hatmaker says:

“Don’t imagine I’m advocating for no savings.  The Bible has several instructive nuggets on maintaining a cushion, saving for seasons of drought and hardship.  Wisdom plans ahead (that is, if she has the luxury of expendable income; this is a First World extravagance).

But the numbers are so tipped in our favor, I wonder if God doesn’t expect more from the top 20 percent (and most of us are in the top 5 percent…[make $35,000 a year?  Top 4 percent.  $50,000?  Top 1 percent]) than simply buying 86 percent of the stuff and harboring savings accounts with the rest.  I wonder if there is a graded option somewhere below our means.”

(The 7 Experiment, pages 134 and 13)

As you can see, we have some murky waters to tread together.  I know.  It’s frustrating/scary/hard…exciting?  Did I hear you think that?  Did a little part of you leap at these ideas?  At what we can do together for His glory and others’ good? 

I hope so.  That part was His spirit in you and your soul that He is refining.  I’m right there with you – about to pee my pants and yet so excited.  I don’t know why He is giving me the pleasure of being the one to pen what I’ve learned on this silly blog, but it’s my joy.  I don’t know what I’m doing, but I’m grateful you’re along for the ride!

More next time 🙂

Ah.  Our pastor said something yesterday morning that made a part of my soul sigh and rest.

Here’s roughly what he said:

“Heaven isn’t the end.  The end is when God creates a New Heavens and a New Earth.  And I hope on the New Earth it isn’t excitement a minute.  I hope there are simple things like a walk down a newly-created stream.”

I have been thinking about the Simplicity series I put on hold…hmmm….a long time ago.  I would apologize for that, but it seems God wanted me to read a few more books before I continued on.  So funny, because one of the books talks all about our Ultimate Destination – a New Earth with New Bodies. 

I’m going to try to pick back up, tie up some loose ends, and add a few things I’ve learned in the last year and a half.

I love how His timing is always spot on.

From where I’m standing
Lord, it’s so hard for me to see
Where this is going
And where You’re leading me

I wish I knew how
All my fears and all my questions
Are going to play out
In a world I can’t control

When I’m lost in the mystery
To You my future is a memory

‘Cause You’re already there
You’re already there
Standing at the end of my life
Waiting on the other side
And You’re already there
You’re already there

From where You’re standing
Lord, You see a grand design
That You imagined
When You breathed me into life

And all the chaos
Comes together in Your hands
Like a masterpiece
Of Your picture perfect plan

When I’m lost in the mystery
To You my future is a memory

One day I’ll stand before You
And look back on the life I’ve lived
I can’t wait to enjoy the view
And see how all the pieces fit

One day I’ll stand before You
And look back on the life I’ve lived
‘Cause You’re already there
You’re already there

When I’m lost in the mystery
To You my future is a memory
‘Cause You’re already there
You’re already there

Standing at the end of my life
Waiting on the other side
And You’re already there
You’re already there

Casting Crowns, “Already There” via www.elyrics.net

Can you tell I’m reading through John?  I love John.  I have these notes scribbled at the beginning of that book in my Bible:

“No other gospel writer shows more determination to express Jesus’ absolute deity.  He also uses “belief” (pisteuo) 98 times!  His is the gospel of belief.”

I read this outside as the sun rose above the trees across the way.  I am overcome by His goodness.

Now he had to go through Samaria.  [I heard Anne Graham Lotz say once, “Actually, He didn’t have to go through Samaria to get to Galilee from Judea.  He could’ve gone around.  But He had an Appointment.”] 

So he came to a town in Samaria called Sychar, near the plot of ground Jacob had given to his son Joseph.  Jacob’s well was there, and Jesus, tired as he was from the journey, sat down by the well.  It was about the sixth hour.

When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her,

“Will you give me a drink?”

(His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.)

The Samaritan woman said to him,

“You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman.  How can you ask me for a drink?”

(For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.)

Jesus answered her,

“If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.”

“Sir,” the woman said, “you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep.  Where can you get this living water?  Are you greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did also his sons and his flocks and herds?”

Jesus answered,

“Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst.  Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water so that I won’t get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water.”

He told her,

“Go, call your husband and come back.”

“I have no husband,” she replied.

Jesus said to her,

“You are right when you say you have no husband.  The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband.  What you have just said is quite true.”

“Sir,” the woman said “I can see that you are a prophet.  Our fathers worshiped on this mountain, but you Jews claim that the place where we must worship is in Jerusalem.”

Jesus declared,

“Believe me, woman, a time is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem.  You Samaritans worship what you do not know; we worship what we do know, for salvation is from the Jews.  Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks.  God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth.”

The woman said, “I know that Messiah” (called Christ) “is coming.  When he comes, he will explain everything to us.

Then Jesus declared,

“I who speak to you am he.”

Just then his disciples returned and were surprised to find him talking with a woman.  But no one asked, “What do you want?” or “Why are you talking with her?”

Then, leaving her water jar, the woman went back to the town and said to the people, “Come, see a man who told me everything I ever did.  Could this be the Christ?”

They came out of the town and made their way toward him.

Meanwhile his disciples urged him, “Rabbi, eat something.”

But he said to them,

“I have food to eat that you know nothing about.”

Then his disciples said to each other, “Could someone have brought him food?”

“My food,” said Jesus, “is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work.  Do you not say, ‘Four months more and then the harvest?’  I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields!  They are ripe for harvest.  Even now the reaper draws his wages, even now he harvests the crop for eternal life, so that the sower and the reaper may be glad together.  Thus the saying, ‘One sows and another reaps is true.  I sent you to reap what you have not worked for.  Others have done the hard work, and you have reaped the benefits of their labor.”

Many of the Samaritans from that town believed in him because of the woman’s testimony, “He told me everything I ever did.”  So when the Samaritans came to him, they urged him to stay with them, and he stayed two days.  And because of his words many more became believers.

They said to the woman, “We no longer believe just because of what you said; now we have heard for ourselves, and we know that this man really is the Savior of the world.”

– John 4:4-42

One of these days we all will stand in judgment for

 Every single word that we have spoken

 One of these days we all will stand before the Lord

 Give a reason for everything we’ve done

 And what I’ve done is

 Trust in Jesus

 My great Deliverer

 My strong Defender

 The Son of God

 I trust in Jesus

 Blessed Redeemer

 My Lord forever

 The Holy One, the Holy One

 What are you going to do when your time has come

And your life is done and there’s nothing you can stand on?

 What will you have to say at the judgment throne

 I already know the only thing that I can say I

 Trust in Jesus

 My great Deliverer

 My strong Defender

 The Son of God

 I trust in Jesus

 Blessed Redeemer

 My Lord forever

 The Holy One, the Holy One

 There’s nothing I can do on my own to find forgiveness

 It’s by His grace alone I trust in Jesus

 Trust in Jesus

 One of these days we all will stand in judgment for

 Every single word that we have spoken

 One of these days we all will stand before the Lord 

Third Day “Trust in Jesus” via www.azlyrics.com

The next day Jesus decided to leave for Galilee.  Finding Philip, he said to him,

“Follow me.”

Philip, like Andrew and Peter, was from the town of Bethsaida.  Philip found Nathanael and told him,

“We have found the one Moses wrote about in the Law, and about whom the prophets also wrote – Jesus of Nazareth, the son of Joseph.”

“Nazareth!  Can anything good come from there?” Nathanael asked.

“Come and see,” said Philip

When Jesus saw Nathanael approaching, he said of him, “Here is a true Israelite, in whom there is nothing false.”

“How do you know me?” Nathanael asked.

Jesus answered, “I saw you while you were still under the fig tree before Philip called you.”

Then Nathanael declared, “Rabbi, you are the Son of God; you are the King of Israel.”

Jesus said, “You believe because I told you I saw you under the fig tree.  You shall see greater things than that.” 

He then added, “I tell you the truth, you shall see heaven open, and the angels of God ascending and descending on the Son of Man.”

– John 1:43-51

We pray for blessings, we pray for peace

We pray for family, protection while we sleep

We pray for healing, for prosperity

We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering

And all the while, You hear each spoken need

Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things.

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops?

What if Your healing comes through tears?

What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near?

What if trials of this life

Are your mercies in disguise?

We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear

And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near

We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love

As if every promise from Your Word is not enough!

And all the while You hear each desperate plea

And long that we’d have faith to believe

When friends betray us

When darkness seems to win we know

The pain reminds this heart

That this is not, this is not

Our Home

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops?

What if Your healing comes through tears?

And what if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near?

What if my greatest disappointments

Or the aching of this life

Is the revealing of a Greater Thirst

This world can’t satisfy?

What if the trials of this life

The rain, the storms, the hardest nights

Are Your Mercies in Disguise?

-Laura Story, “Blessings” via azlyrics.com

You were walking on the moon, now you’re feeling low

What they said wasn’t true, you’re beautiful

Sticks and stones break your bones, I know what you’re feeling

Words like those won’t steal your glow, you’re one in a million

This, this is for all the girls, boys all over the world

Whatever you’ve been told, you’re worth more than gold

So hold your head up high, it’s your time to shine

From the inside out it shows, you’re worth more than gold!

Well everybody keeps score, afraid you’re gonna lose

Just ignore them, they don’t know the real you

All the rain in the sky can’t put out your fire

Of all the stars out tonight, you shine brighter!

So don’t let anybody tell you that you’re not loved

And don’t let anybody tell you that you’re not enough

Yeah there are days when we all feel like we’re messed up

But the truth is that we’re all diamonds in the rough

So don’t be ashamed to wear your crown

You’re a king, you’re a queen inside and out

You glow like the moon, you shine like the stars

This is for you, wherever you are!

So don’t be ashamed to wear your crown

You’re a king, you’re a queen inside and out!

Britt Nicole, “Gold”

Oh my.

Jeanette died.

When I say she came to pretty much every Fall Avoidance class, I’m not exaggerating.

Thank You, Jesus, that she knew and followed You.

I’m gonna go out on a limb and be honest here:

I wasn’t a fan at first.

She was a former school teacher and definitely had a strong opinion about the way things should be.

I was just learning how to teach Fall Avoidance, and she would regularly correct me by telling me how the previous instructors had done things. 

It made me bristle.

But we started to get to know each other.  It took me quite a while to figure out the ropes, but I did eventually get it.  I started to teach with a little more confidence and authority.  She started treating me with more respect.  I kinda liked that I had to earn her respect; it wasn’t automatically handed out.  She had been with these participants for a long time and felt it was her duty to protect them from poor teaching that could injure them.

Anyway, eventually we became friends.  I don’t mean we ever laughed and whooped it up together; that’s not her thing.  But we both respected the other’s views.  Sometimes when she tried to take over my class, I quickly – but with humor – reminded her it was my turn.  She seemed to be impressed by that.

The last conversation we had last week was about kids running around.  We were talking about the difference between our gym and the YMCA.  The Y is very kid-friendly and children are everywhere.  When I bring my boys up to the childcare at our gym – or when we walk downstairs and out to the car – they are some of the few kids the members see daily.  They make a big deal about them and are always kind.

Anyway, someone was talking about how they appreciate that there are not a bunch of kids running around our gym like there are at the Y.  I got a little defensive and off-handedly remarked that sometimes my boys get excited and run through the waiting area.

Jeanette was very kind, but very insistent. 

She goes, “You know here’s the thing about us older folks.  Our balance isn’t as good as it used to be and if a small child comes barreling toward us, we can’t always get out of the way in time.  I was at the Forum Theater a few years ago and a young boy ran out beside a lady with a cane and knocked her over.  I know the boy felt really badly, but either way, the lady broke her hip and died not long after.”

Here’s the thing: She wasn’t trying to make me feel bad.  She wasn’t trying to control me (not a fan of that).  She was just telling me her experience and wisdom in what she has seen in her life.  Once I could get over my pride, I could realize she was doing me a favor.

But she wasn’t done. 

After our circle time she followed me to a certain section of the obstacle course.  She looked at it and goes, “You know I’m not sure I want to try this one but I always teach my Sunday School kids to say, ‘I’d be glad to’ when I ask them to do something.  So, Jamie, I’ll be glad to do this obstacle.”

I thought it was so great of her. 

Anyway, back to today.

Caleb and I got to the gym a little early since our errands weren’t as long.  Once again, it was told to me very nonchalantly by the front desk that a long-time participant of mine had died suddenly.  I, of course, teared up.  Then the lady who had been the one to inform the front desk about it came around where I was standing.  She started to share what had happened and her memories of Jeanette.

She was on a long-awaited cruise when she passed away.  She had told me and the entire class about this trip several times.  I was so glad she was doing something she was excited about when it was her turn to go.  And that she had a good friend on the trip with her.

The lady telling us the details goes, “We have mutual friends who live in the Northwest but their grandkids live here. So when their kids need grandparent time, Jeanette and I would get to play fill-in Grandma together.”

That made my heart break.  Both that they were helping these young people out that way…and that this lady talking to us just lost such a good friend. 

I hugged her and she goes, “Oh stop, now I’ll start crying again.”

Well, I’m quite like Truvy in Steel Magnolias: No one cries alone in my presence.  And the tears started to come. 

You’d be proud of  me.  I didn’t run to the bathroom and hide.  I let them flow. 

When Caleb and I got up to the childcare, our sweet, faithful Ms. Rhonda talked to me about my sadness.  She let the tears flow, too, without making me feel stupid.

I had started to pull it together a little.  And then the tears returned right before my class was to start.

Right when I didn’t want them to. 

I wanted to seem competent.  And in control.  And peppy, for crying in the night. 

But I wasn’t just then; I was sad. 

I briefly told the class why.  They gave me understanding nods, didn’t make fun of me, and we went on our merry way. 

No, I wasn’t as excited as I usually am teaching, but I think they still got a good workout.  And they saw me as a real person, not a robot.

Want to know the last thing Jeanette said to me before she left my class that last time?

“Well, I’ve gotta go.  But I’ll be seeing you.”