Oh my goodness.

I just love my boys.

Yesterday, Caden had his first tearful meltdown about school.

Everything is fine, he just got hurt feelings.

It really is hard not to get all fired up about silly stuff when it’s your ba-bay, isn’t it?

But I refuse.

Plus, these are the types of lessons we wanted him to start learning now. 

But, still.  Help him, Lord.

And help us guide him through these tough lessons well.

Little one is little one.

I will be so sad when he stops pronouncing breakfast ‘frefrast.’

Plus, if it’s all the same to us, he’s not interested in sitting on that porcelain toilet when his pull-up works just as well.  I totally know I need to just bust out the underwear and deal with the messes.  I think I’m waiting for the perfect 3-day-at-home window to go for it.  Or I’m waiting for Jesus to come back.

But, seriously.  Dan and I have had lots of people walk alongside us so far in this parenting journey.  We’ve read wonderful books.  We’ve watched those ahead of us that we admire. 

But I really can’t shake the feeling that we’re making this up as we go with God.  That we’re taking wonderful principles and examples and lessons to heart, but in the end there are no guarantees.  And when you love someone this much, all you want is a guarantee.

And it is interesting that all this is on my heart, while at the same time a section from The 7 Experiemnt is on my brain.  Sometimes I feel…bipolar?  I don’t know.  It reminds me of the intro Beth Moore wrote for When Godly People Do Ungodly Things:

“On behalf of all authors who seek the sole leadership of the Holy Spirit, please allow me to say that we don’t just pick and choose our subject matter.  In fact, sometimes God assigns us a message that is more radical than we’d ever want to invite!  I am being as honest as I know how to be when I say that I did not write these pages by simple preference.  I wrote them because had I not, the rocks in my yard would have cried out…

I may unknowingly err in interpretation or application, but the overall message of warning, redemption, and restoration are consistent with a God so merciful and courageous, He would dare to use a pauper like me…

I find my insecure self wanting to issue some kind of disclaimer about my mental and spiritual health.  I really am a pretty normal person.  I am a regular wife and mom.  (And does anyone happen to remember that one of the last books I wrote was a sweet, inoffensive mommy book?)  I’m just your average girl, for heaven’s sake!

I didn’t ask to write some of the kinds of messages God has appointed me.  My mother went to her grave wondering why I couldn’t ‘just be funny’ like I ‘used to be.’  Choosing God’s approval over hers was a monumental test for me.  I cannot write to please man as much as I’d like to at times.  So, when you’ve turned the last page, if you’re not pleased, kindly consider telling God and not me.  My self-esteem is shakier than His.”

Ahem. 

So on we travel.

“Paul said we are adopted children, heirs of God and coheirs with our Jesus, ‘if indeed we share in his sufferings’ (Rom 8:17). 

When we were stuck in the Ethiopian court system for our son, staring down an impending rejection for his adoption, we hit darkness.  Month after month stretched out, as our children waited for us, victims of a difficult, chaotic system.  A black cloud hovered over me and I could not shake it.

During that time, well-meaning friend offered many versions of this statement: ‘Chin up!  Find joy in this!  This is all in God’s timing, so don’t worry!’ Good reader, I know this came from loving hearts, but it would not pierce my grief.  My spirit would not receive this, no matter how much I prayed and faked it.

Finally I screamed in desperation, ‘I am worried, God!  I am devastated!  My children are on another continent wondering why we haven’t come back for them, and they are going to bed without a mom and dad tonight again, and my heart is broken!  I will not put my chin up!  I will not skip around like Polyanna!  I am angry and sad and hurting for them and raging against the political systems that keep children in orphanages and families in poverty!  If grieving for them is wrong, I do not want to be right ever again in my life!’

Very quietly, very clearly, God spoke to me: ‘When I asked you to adopt, I invited you into the suffering of the orphan.  That suffering includes all their losses, all their grief, all their fear.  You are suffering with them right now, because that is part of the deal.  You will suffer with them even more once they get home.  When you said yes to adoption, you agreed to enter their brokenness and live there with them until they were healed.  Obeying Me means suffering with those who suffer, which is dark and painful and it hurts.  You don’t get to live a happy, oblivious life while My vulnerable ones grieve.  Jesus was a Man of sorrows, acquainted with grief, and you are His disciple.’

We are no longer obligated to sin nature, but we are obligated to share in Jesus’ suffering.  For whom did He suffer?  Who broke His heart?  Who moved Him to action and mercy?

What sort of suffering does the church sign up for when we act justly and love mercy?

‘The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed…We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time.  Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies.  For in this hope we were saved.  But hope that is seen is no hope at all.  Who hopes for what he already has?  But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently’ (Rom 8:19, 22-25).

Like Paul observed, this feeling of endless labor is not just around us but within us.  We feel it too, don’t we?  The earth is filled with groaning and waiting and frustration and bondage and decay.  One need not look far to find it.  Mamas are burying their babies and the sick are dying alone.  Hunger steals life in a world with enough food to feed us all.  Humans are sold as property; innocence is ruined.  Creation itself longs for liberation, anxious to be set free from the effects of human sin.

But there is also much good news in this passage, for Paul speaks of glory and eager expectation and freedom and redemption and hope.  No labor, however long, lasts forever.  We know Jesus will make all things new.  We know our hope is well placed.  We know tears will be dried and suffering will end.  We know God will make the last first and the least the greatest.  The meek will indeed inherit the earth.  Glory is coming.”

– Jen Hatmaker, The 7 Experiment (pgs. 176-178)

I’ve been thinking about that phrase I’ve been using “do justice.”  I wanted to share some of Keller’s insights into what it means.  But he’s very thorough, so a little at a time. 

For today…

“…There is a direct relationship between a person’s grasp and experience of God’s grace, and his or her heart for justice and the poor.  In both settings [where I preached – Hopewell, VA and New York City], as I preached the classic message that God does not give us justice but saves us by free grace, I discovered that those most affected by the message became the most sensitive to the social inequities around them. 

One man in my church in Hopewell went through a profound transformation.  He moved out of a sterile, moralistic understanding of life and began to understand that his salvation was based on the free, unmerited grace of Jesus.  It gave him a new warmth, joy, and confidence that everyone could see.

But it had another surprising effect. 

‘You know,’ he said to me one day, ‘I’ve been a racist all my life.’

I was startled, because I had not yet preached to him or to the congregation on that subject.  He had put it together for himself.  When he lost his Phariseeism, his spiritual self-righteousness, he said, he lost his racism.

Elaine Scarry of Harvard has written a fascinating little book called On Beauty and Being Just.  Her thesis is that the experience of beauty makes us less self-centered and more open to justice.  I have observed over the decades that when people see the beauty of God’s grace in Christ, it leads them powerfully toward justice…

I recently met with Heather, a woman who attends my church in New York City.  After graduating from Harvard Law School she landed a lucrative job with a major law firm in Manhattan.  It was a dream come true for most aspiring young professionals.  She was a high-powered corporate lawyer, she was ‘living the life’ in the big city, and yet it was all strangely unsatisfying.  She wanted to make a difference in the lives of individuals, and she was concerned about those in society who could not afford the kind of fees her clients paid her firm.

For a fraction of her former salary, she became an assistant district attorney for New York County, where so many of the criminals she prosecutes are those who have been exploiting the poor, particularly poor women.

When I was a professor at a theological seminary in the mid-eighties, one of my students was a young man named Mark Gornik.  One day we were standing at the copier and he told me that he was about to move into Sandtown, one of the poorest and most dangerous neighborhoods in Baltimore. 

I remember being quite surprised.  When I asked him why, he said simply, ‘to do justice.’

It had been decades since any white people had moved into Sandtown.  For the first couple of years there it was touch and go.  Mark told a reporter, ‘The police thought I was a drug dealer and the drug dealers thought I was a police officer.  So, for a while there, I didn’t know who was going to shoot me first.’

Yet over the years Mark, along with leaders in the community, established a church and a comprehensive set of ministries that have slowly transformed the neighborhood.

Although both Heather and Mark were living comfortable, safe lives, they became concerned about the most vulnerable, poor, and marginalized members of our society, and they made long-term personal sacrifices in order to serve their interests, needs, and cause.

That is, according to the Bible, what it means to ‘do justice.'”

– Timothy Keller, Generous Justice (pgs. xix – 2)

So back and forth we’ll go.  It’s all tied together, you know.  Storing up treasures in heaven, having no other gods before Him, living in simplicity internally and externally, doing justice, loving our neighbor as ourselves.  Hope I can actually connect them adequately on here!

God is not a man, so He does not lie.

He is not a human, so He does not change His mind.

Has He ever spoken and failed to act?

Has He ever promised and not carried it through?

– Numbers 23:19 NLT

Leadership books make my head swim. 

Always good to refresh the mind with Truth from the Ultimate Leadership Book:

You promise to guide the humble in what is right and teach them Your way.  (Ps 25:9)

Help me to do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit but in humility consider others as better than myself. (Phil 2:3)

Help me to clothe myself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. (Col 3:12)

You are the Lord my God.  I desire to love You, listen to Your voice, and hold fast to You, for You, Lord, are my life. (Deut 30:20)

In Your hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind. (Job 12:10)

Before the mountains were born or You brought forth the earth and the world, from everlasting to everlasting You are God. (Ps 90:1-2)

Interesting.  Does any of this resonate with you?

“Where there is no progress, there’s no growth.  If there’s no growth, there’s no life..

Leaders challenge what is for the sake of what could and should be.  That’s the job of the leader…

Beyond the need to challenge what should be changed, leaders have been given the assignment to take people places they’ve never been before. 

Leaders provide a mental picture of a preferred future and then ask people to follow them there.  As leaders we are asking men and women not only to follow us to a place they have never been before; we are asking them to follow us to a place we have never been before.  That takes guts. 

Leaders are not always the first to see an opportunity.  They are simply the first to seize an opportunity.

Failure in any particular enterprise is something a leader can live with.  Even laugh about.  An unsuccessful enterprise is simply a lesson in things not to repeat.  Leaders can much more easily live with the prospects of having tried and failed than not having tried at all. 

Failure is a part of success.  Ask a successful leader how he overcame his fear of failure, and chances are he won’t give you a good answer.  Why?  Because he has never thought about it.  Leaders know the best way to ensure success is to take chances.  While the average person fears stepping out into a new opportunity, the leader fears missing out on a new opportunity.

Tom Watson Sr., founder of IBM, understood this principle.  A junior executive with the company once managed to lose over $10 million in a venture that was considered risky even by company insiders.  When Watson found out about the disaster, he called the young man to his office. 

Upon entering, the young man blurted out, ‘I guess you want my resignation?’

Watson allegedly responded, ‘You can’t be serious.  We just spent $10 million educating you.’

You can’t lead without taking risks. 

You won’t take risk without courage. 

Courage is essential to leadership.”

Andy Stanley, The Next Generation Leader

Hello!

I was out of town this weekend, attending my 15 year high school reunion. 

Cra-zay.

I’m getting old.

It was pretty darn fun catching up with people with whom I spent 18 years. 

Parenting sure levels the playing field.

Know what I mean?

None of us know what we’re doing.

Those who used to think they knew, don’t.

Several have special needs children.

We’re all just wanting to do what is best and right.

I enjoyed myself.

Back to reality. 

Thought I’d finish the quote from Alcorn I started last time.  I love using my sanctified imagination to picture what’s in store.  Okay, that last sentence is forcing me to quote a different section first.  Then on to the previous section…

“In 1952, young Florence Chadwick stepped into the waters of the Pacific Ocean off Catalina Island, determined to swim to the shore of mainland California.  She’d already been the first woman to swim the English Channel both ways.  The weather was foggy and chilly; she could hardly see the boats accompanying her.  Still, she swam for fifteen hours.  When she begged to be taken out of the water along the way, her mother, in a boat alongside, told her she was close and that she could make it.  Finally, physically and emotionally exhausted, she stopped swimming and was pulled out.  It wasn’t until she was on the boat the she discovered the shore was less than half a mile away.  At a news conference the next day she said, ‘All I could see was the fog…I think if I could have seen the shore, I would have made it.’

For believers, that shore is Jesus and being with him in the place that he promised to prepare for us, where we will live with him forever.  The shore we should look for is that of the New Earth.  If we can see through the fog and picture our eternal home in our mind’s eye, it will comfort and energize us.”

(Alcorn, Heaven Introduction)

“There will be no temple, no church buildings.  Christ will be the focus of all.  Worship will be unaffected, without pretense or distraction.  We’ll be lost in our worship, overcome by God’s magnificence and the privilege of being his children.

In Revelation 5 we’re told of a choir of angels numbering ten thousand times ten thousand – that’s 100 million!  And then we’re told that the whole rest of creation adds its voices to these 100 million.  The 100 million are merely and ensemble on the stage.  Can you imagine the power of the song?

Will we learn in heaven?  Definitely.  We’re told that in the coming ages God will continuously reveal to us the ‘incomparable riches of his grace’ (Eph 2:7).  When we die, we’ll know a lot more than we do now, but we’ll keep learning about God and his creation and each other throughout eternity.

Will we remember our lives and relationships on earth?  Of course.  (We’ll be smarter in heaven, not dumber!)  Remembrance is important to God, which is why the heavenly city has memorials of people and events of earth (Revelation 21:12-14).  It’s also why God keeps in heaven a ‘scroll of remembrance’ written in God’s presence, ‘concerning those who feared the Lord and honored his name’ (Malachi 3:16).  The pain of the past will be gone.  But memories of being together in the trenches, walking with Christ, and experiencing intimate times with family and friends will remain.”

(Alcorn, Money, Possessions and Eternity, pg. 114)

It just keeps getting better. 

These words jumped off the page this morning:

“Establishing that the leader’s role is not to set the vision or to sell the vision begs the question:

‘What is the spiritual leader’s role?’

It is to bear witness to what God says. 

Spiritual leaders must bring followers into a face-to-face encounter with God so they hear from God directly, not indirectly through their leader.  Jesus shared the Father’s revelation with his disciples corporately (John 15:15).  Spiritual leaders may never convince their people they have heard from God personally, but once their people hear from God themselves, there will be no stopping them from participating in the work God is doing.  That is because the Holy Spirit will take the truth, shared by the leader, and confirm it in the hearts of the people.  The leader cannot convince people that a particular direction is from God.  This is the Holy Spirit’s task…

We advised [a frustrated pastor] to worry less about the people’s activity in the church and to concentrate instead on encouraging their walk with God.  If their relationship with God grew strong, their obedience would follow…a church program never changed a life.  Only God does that.  Church activities are nothing more than busywork unless God initiates them.  As people see God at work around them and as they are encouraged to join him, they will demonstrate much more than compliance.  They will enthusiastically participate in the things they sense God is doing…people are willing to adjust their lives when they are helped to see God at work…When people sense they are a part of something God is doing, there is no limit to what they will be willing to do in response.”

Henry Blackaby, “Spiritual Leadership” (pgs. 75, 76, 77)

Saw this on IJM’s Facebook page.

Some reviews on this book:

“Let’s be honest. Trends dominate the contemporary church, but some ideas are too important to succumb to the here-today-gone-tomorrow nature of consumer religion. Justice is one of them. Bethany Hoang recognizes the need to anchor justice to a foundation of theology, Scripture, and communion with God if it is to avoid becoming another disposable trend among Christians. This book is a critical beginning for anyone serious about seeking justice for a lifetime.” (Skye Jethani, senior editor of Leadership Journal and author of WITH: Reimagining the Way You Relate to God)

“Several years ago when I first began learning about human trafficking and modern-day slavery, my one repeated question for my friends at International Justice Mission was, ‘What can I do?’ With beautiful consistency the reply was, ‘Become a person of justice, learn about the God of justice.’ They knew from firsthand experience that taking hold of what it means to live justly had to be as important a task as anything they were doing in the field. Here, Bethany Hoang has created a beautiful journey for the heart longing to be shaped by the God of justice. Before our action can be ‘wise, effective and sustained,’ we must be formed by practices that lead us to the very originator of justice.” (Sara Groves, award-winning singer/songwriter)

“Bethany Hoang and her colleagues at International Justice Mission hold prayer as a vital aspect in their work among the poor and their daily fight against injustice. If we are to truly do his will in a hurting world, we must first understand the heart of our heavenly Father and his unwavering love for the poor. The best way to do this is through a life of prayer.” (Dr. Wess Stafford, president & CEO, Compassion International)

“The initial flame of justice passion easily burns out. Only a radically God-centered, other-centered commitment yields action that genuinely serves victims of abuse. Justice work requires relentless perseverance and long-term investment. Hoang’s guide offers practical, actionable steps disciples need to take in order to last in the Micah 6:8 life.” (Dr. Amy L. Sherman, author, Kingdom Calling: Vocational Stewardship for the Common Good)

I want to read it!  My worst nightmare would be doing anything justice-related on my own strength, with a passion that burns out and a self-focus that does more harm than good.

Jesus, keep Your people grounded in truth, prayer, community – and with individual lives that take justice seriously in every seemingly-small aspect.

Today is a short quote.  Mostly because if you think about it – really think about it – you could ponder all day.

“Heaven is our home.  Paul said, ‘As long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord…We would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord’ (2 Cor. 5:6-8).

Paul said we’d prefer to be in heaven, our true home.  Home is the place of acceptance, security, rest, refuge, deep personal relationships, and great memories.

God’s people, aliens and strangers on earth, spend their lives ‘looking forward to a country they can call their own’ and ‘looking for a better place, a heavenly homeland’ (Heb. 11:14, 16 NLT).  The capital of this heavenly country will be a ‘city with eternal foundations, a city designed and built by God’ (Heb 11:10 NLT).  This city will have all the freshness, vitality, and openness of the country with all the vibrancy, interdependence, and relationships of a city.  A city without crime, litter, smog, sirens, seaminess, or slums.

Heaven will have an endless supply of fresh water and delicious food.  No famine or drought.  Christ promised we would eat and drink with him – along with Abraham and others (Matt 8:11).  We’ll meet and converse with other inhabitants of heaven.  Not only Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, but Moses, David, Ruth, Esther, Mary and Peter.  I look forward to conversations with C.S. Lewis, A.W. Tozer, Jonathan Edwards, and Amy Carmichael.

We’ll converse with angels.  Because angels are ‘ministering spirits’ who serve us (Heb 1:14), we’ll get to know those who protected us during our years on earth.

We’ll enjoy and share with others the treasures we laid up for ourselves in heaven while we lived on earth (Matt 6:19-21).  We’ll open our dwelling places to entertain people (Luke 16:9).

God gave Adam and Eve creativity in their unfallen state that was twisted but remained when they fell.  He will surely not give us less creativity in heaven but more, unmarred by sin, unlimited by mortality.  We will compose, write, paint, carve, build, plant, and grow.”

(Alcorn, Money, Possessions, and Eternity pages 113, 114).

That’s not the end of that quote.  But it’s enough to blow your mind for today.  Or disagree with.  Or wonder about.  Or whatever…