The other evening was gorgeous. Started cooling off, soft breeze. The sun was lowering and our backyard in spring is so sweet. There are big trees and the light was filtering through. Right then I looked up to see my boy leaning over our just-sprouting garden. It was like something from a photograph. I looked at my man, working on something in the garage, and was overwhelmed with the blessings of God. Less than a year ago we lived in someone’s basement. Within a span of 3 weeks, He helped pry open our hands to buying a house immediately and proceeded to unveil the hand-picked “cottage” rental house and hand-picked neighbors just across the way. Is this really my life? Because I love it.
My son spilled HOT coffee on himself this morning. And it was my fault.
I sat in the shower with him, running cool water on his arm, and never in my life did I want to take someone else’s pain onto myself more.
What is it about parenthood? I don’t have any great philosophical conclusions to our little incident this morning. Just that my baby hurt and therefore my heart broke.
For Grandma and Aunt Yill-yo: he’s fine. It blistered, but his shirt and shorts protected everything but the inside of his little arm. The Doc prescribed a good ointment and Tylenol with codeine, but said it’ll heal just fine.
Sadness. I promise this blog will have fun, jolly posts too. But I had to get this one out in the open today.
We had to pick up some coffee at Walgreen’s this afternoon. He was in between our car and the one parked next to us.
I wrestled a 1 year old, my purse and two cans of coffee (no, I don’t need a bag, thankyouverymuch) while he said “Okay, thanks…God bless” to the open window of the other car.
He turned to me then and said, “Ma’am I hate to ask this, I really do. But I recently got laid off at Cessna and my wife and I just ran out of gas. Do you have a dollar or two so we can fill up and get home? I’ve been looking for a job all week.”
I guess it was his need to make sure I knew he was actively pursuing work that made me soften.
I didn’t handle it perfectly. I explained we usually have cash, but with tomorrow being payday we were running on debit card fumes. He walked away, but after I got in I noticed the coin bag we’ve had on the floor of the car for like a week. (And once again, untidiness pays off.) I could tell there were enough non-pennies in there to add up to at least a couple dollars.
The way he stood there with his hand open while I counted a bunch of nickels affirmed to me his authenticity. He mumbled something about how this was new degredation for him and I looked him in the eye. I don’t know about a lot of things. But I do know what it’s like to feel vulnerable. Like the whole world is staring.
I told him I know it’s humbling. And that I hope things can turn around for him soon. He shook my hand.
I often wonder what goes through my little guy’s mind. What did he think was happening just then? We prayed for the man on the way to pick up Daddy. And the only thing that came to my mind to ask for him was hope. I wasn’t compelled to ask for a job for him. Just that tonight he and his wife would be given the gift of encouragement that things will be okay. We all need that from time to time. Sometimes more than a job.
My sister talked to me a couple months ago about blogging. I decided to do it. Am I the only one who, when not in at the beginning of some cool new phase, just talks herself out of joining it entirely? That’s some serious pride. “If I didn’t come up with it or be one of the first to join, I don’t want to play.” Then I read this article http://www.wired.com/entertainment/theweb/magazine/16-11/st_essay about how blogging is “so 2004” and thought now’s the perfect time! There’s no reasoning with me on this.
I am convinced this will morph as I go. But for now it’s for me and my sister!