God works in themes in my life. He always has. I know that I need to pay attention to something when it’s all I hear or read about. And sometimes the way He uses it in my life looks differently than I thought it would.
For example, when we were waiting for our son’s arrival, we got to know a couple in Turkey who were also displaced. They had been in China but health issues had brought them to Turkey that year to be near medical help. We liked them. Almost immediately, we talked about kids and stuff. They had 3 kids and she announced they were pregnant shortly after we met. Huh. I had only known a few other families with that many kids. I was impressed.
As we got to know them better, she started talking about how they’d let go of the idea of controlling the size of their family. I started getting nervous. What did that mean? We talked alot about it. Alot. I couldn’t just move on. I had to understand this thinking in its entirety.
Then our boy was born. And I wanted out. I couldn’t believe anyone did this more than once, let alone 4 – 8 times. We figured some stuff out. Like that first 3 month period mercifully ends at 3 months. That some people have to supplement nursing. That other than some moral guidelines in Scripture, God has not given us one right way to parent. That God was for us and not against us in raising this precious soul. Good stuff to figure out.
But when we got back to America, every blog I read, every mom I talked to, many books I was exposed to had this theme of not controlling everything. Life is better when we don’t try to control everything. Again. Huh. Not exactly what I’d been raised with.
This is getting long, but I feel the need to link to my three favorite posts on this topic. No we don’t have plans for 10 kids. No we haven’t landed on anything other than the Pill was hideous for me the last two years I was on it before our son was conceived and I will never go back on it. Which means we have to be careful. Or not and just go with it. It means I had to learn a lot more about my body. And open my mind to the possibility that there are other ways of life out there. But even with that information I don’t feel compelled to have a ton of kids. And some of my favorite examples of Christ followers have two kids. So that’s what I mean about Him not always using themes in my life the way I think He will. I’m still waiting to see what this theme’s purpose is. Maybe I’ll never know.
Here’s the posts. All three are long. And full of controversial thinking. Such as the Catholic Church’s teaching on contraception (which I’m not defending nor criticizing, and DITTO with anyone’s political views!) and this phenomenon some call “The Quiverfull Movement.” Don’t read them unless you have time. And a willingness to think without immediately judging.